Things You Learn in Law School that Reconfirm your Commitment to Bizarre New Year's Resolutions Include...

Professional bakers often cannot be fingerprinted.

The years of working with enriched white flour have literally burned their fingerprints off their fingers.

This tells us two things:

1) If you plan a life of crime, take a cue from Nancy Botwin and make your front a bakery.

2) HOLY MOTHER STOP EATING SO MUCH BREAD